Tag Archives: stupid traditions

Open Letter to Davids Bridal

Dear Davids Bridal,

I love your stylish wedding gowns and  relatively affordable prices.  But I’m going to be really honest, DB. I’m on the fence. You could have a customer (for the second time) here, or not. Because I’m not really sure I want to buy into the “traditional” wedding dress thing.

Part of me really wants something modern and stylish and knows that I can’t afford the boutique salons. But part of me wonders if I can find a cool retro dress on Etsy or in a local store. Maybe there is something lovely and vintage out there that I haven’t discovered yet.

Last night when I casually meandered into your North Kansas City store to possibly make an appointment, I was asked my wedding date. February 27, 2010.

“Oh my!” was the response from the nice lady at the desk. “You need a dress,” she said with urgency.

But it’s not really urgent. My wedding isn’t for another eight months. I was then told I should have a dress a year out.

 See, this is what I don’t like about the wedding industry. It’s all about these silly conventions that don’t make any sense at all.

SAYS WHO?! Is what I wanted to say. But I didn’t. Instead, I made an appointment for Sunday at 1:30.

Because I’m not going to lie. I’m kind of in love with [A- DO NOT CLICK ANY OF THESE] this , this and this . And I’m curious as to how I might look in this . But  maybe I want something, well a little more quirky?

So you have one chance to make a good impression on me. You have one shot at convincing me that these dresses costing $300-$500 are worth forking over that kind of money for one day and that I can pull off a quirky wedding wearing a dress from your store.

But I’m going to warn you. I’m going in with a skeptical eye. I see through your sales pitches, your accessories and scary undergarments that I absolutely must have to make the dress fit right.

I’m not the typical bride who has been envisioning my wedding day and my dress for the past 31 years. I saw that day and the dress.

You’re not going to get the sale by catering to me that way.

I’m the bride who wants a husband who will stick around and keep me laughing for the rest of my life, and the dress? Well, yes, that will be nice too. But it’s not the focus. Because this beautiful dress that you are going to try to sell me is going to end up in a bag in a basement or attic somewhere. But this guy? This guy who has asked me to spend my life with him – he’s what matters. I’m not sticking him in a bag in the basement. (Wow, that sounds like an episode of Dateline!)

So I want to be smoking hot for him and a classic beauty at the same time. But if I can make that happen for less money in a less traditional way, I’m open to that too.

Good luck, DB. I know you will work hard to make your sale. DD Girl and I will be at your store with bells on (and after a margarita or two from our lunch) to give you your one shot at selling me this thing.





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Bridesmaid throw down

I have decided that I don’t want bridesmaids. Nope. Don’t want them.

At age 31, if I need six well-dressed women with flowers cleaning up after me, then I have big problems and probably shouldn’t get married.

Seriously, “bridesmaid?” And they call it an honor to be one? Who came up with this stuff? I guess I could call them “attendants” but then I have images of them parking my car and bringing me my keys. (Actually, that key thing wouldn’t be so bad…but I digress.)

So what do I call these fine ladies who (so far) have agreed to stand up beside me when I vow till death do us part to Mr. Quirky?

Bride buddies? Hot girls with flowers? Team Quirky? (I kind of like the last one.)

On that same note, one member of Team Quirky e-mailed me to tell me that should she become pregnant at any time prior to the wedding she would understand if I wanted to demote her for “aesthetics.”

WHAT?! Who would do that? “I’m sorry but I only want bridesmaids with flat bellies standing with me.”

I wrote her back that should this miraculous event take place, I would be honored to have her AND her unborn child standing up there with me. I mean, it’s like getting two for the price of one!

What wedding traditions/titles do you find to be ridiculous?

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