Yesterday at the pool, I heard a true bridesmaid horror story. (All names and places have been changed to protect the innocent bridesmaid against the wrath of the guilty bride.) It begged the question, what happens to a girl when she gets married that gives her the entitlement to treat her girlfriends like servants who have endless bank accounts?
Bridesmaid Betsy is in a wedding back in her hometown of Weddingville. She is one of five fair maidens in this fancy shindig.
She has been invited to no less than four separate events celebrating Greedalyn’s wedding. All of these events take place in Weddingville which is a 10 hour drive from Kansas City or a $200 flight. And all of them require the purchase of a gift. There is the couple’s engagement party, two bridal showers and the bachelorette party.
Then there is the “dress”, a frock hardly worthy of said fashion term. All the fair maidens will be wearing floor length “cinnamon” (think rusty brown) skirts. But each fair maiden will have a strapless linen top of a different color. Betsy picked what she thought was a creamy butter color to best match her skintone. Other colors up for grabs included fuscia, Tiffany blue, some sort of green and a light pink.
As another pool friend commented, it sounds like an unlikely rainbow on a cloud of poop.
(Hey, I’m just repeating what was said here.)
Unfortunately when the nice butter yellow top came in, it wasn’t a butter yellow at all, but more like a “Hi, how you doing?” daisy yellow. (Note: I think Daisy yellow is a beautiful color, but when it’s not the color you are expecting to wear, it can be shocking, also I’m not really getting the whole color scheme…)
To make matters worse? This “dress” cost Betsy $200. Like she’ll ever wear any part of it again.
That might not be so bad, but then Greedalyn told Betsy that she has hired hair and makeup to come do everyone up on the big day and that all the maidens must wear the same jewelry – total pricetag for beauty per maid? $100.
(And there hasn’t even been a decision made on the shoes!)
Betsy factors that after the hotel room (that Greedalyn got at a reduced rate.), the plane tickets, the dress, the hair/makeup, the gifts/parties, she is in at well over $1,000 for her friend.
And it’s not like Betsy has this kind of disposable income. She’s a young professional just starting her career. Now I know Betsy loves her girlfriend, and wants to stand up for her at the wedding, but I think brides need to consider their friends a little more when planning their big day.
Is it absolutely necessary for everyone to wear the same shoes? I think if a bridesmaid owns a pair of shoes, as long as they are in the general style/color as the dress she should wear them. What about hair and jewelry? Unless a bride is paying, she probably shouldn’t demand that all her bridesmaids fork up extra money for something they can do themselves.
But Betsy is a good sport. She’s dutifully going along with Greedalyn’s every wish.
With the exception of one. On top of all of the requirements on Betsy to show up in Weddingville for this event, Greedalyn actually had the audacity to tell Betsy that she “had to have a date.”
Betsy is not in a relationship right now. Not only would she have to ask a guy she is only casually seeing, bringing a date would require her to pay for another flight, then rent a car for the boy so he would have something to do for the two days of wedding prep in which Greedalyn has every hour scheduled for Betsy. Not to mention the time off work the boy would have to take off.
I’m very proud of Betsy for telling Greedalyn “no” on the date. Sorry Greedalyn if that messes up your bridal party dance. You’ll just have to be sure to invite hot boys to your wedding for Betsy. It’s the least you can do!
So let’s have it. Tell me your bridesmaid horror stories.
(DD Girl & Team Quirky members, I really hope you don’t have any yet! And if I demand one thing of you, aside from the request to stand up in a red dress next to me on my wedding day, please kick my butt. I’m just honored to have you all there for me on my big day.)