Why I am a wedding-advising hypocrite

A newly engaged co-worker asked me for some wedding planning tips (ok, he didn’t ask me for tips. He asked me how it was going), and I in turn, sent him this (in my opinion) very well-stated advice:

I’m doing pretty good – 11 days!  So as far as sanity goes, here is my #1 tip for [your fiance.] When planning your wedding, you can get lost in a myriad of details. When making decisions, ask yourself the question, “When I look back at my wedding will this ‘thing’ truly make my day better if I have it or worse if I don’t?” If the answer is no, then you can safely eliminate it/skip it. This is how I skipped church flowers, overdoing the centerpieces and a host of items that would have taken more of my time and budget.

 Tip #2 – Delegate and let others help you when they ask! If you can relinquish control of little details, you’ll save many headaches trying to do it yourself. For example, my fiance’s aunt is doing the room gifts for out-of-town guests (A detail that probably wouldn’t have made my budget, but she offered to do this.) I am letting her run with it.

 Tip #3 – Have fun making decisions together that reflect your styles and personalities. We did a movie theatre themed wedding b/c it fit our venue and our personalities. We had a blast thinking of ideas to make this come together! (But you don’t have to have a theme) It’s fun to go out for drinks or dinner and talk about your wedding together. “Wouldn’t it be fun if we did this or that.”  

 Tip #4 – www.blueruestudio.com – that’s my photographer. I heart him.

Now where’s my Martha Stewart gig, because that’s pretty stellar advice right there?

But the truth is, I’m a hypocrite because last night I almost lost my sanity.

It happened after I had gone to bed. The Fiance was in our office, poking around on the computer. I was lying there thinking about my wedding dress and all of a sudden, it hit me.

He might not like it.

I mean, I love it. Really love it. But what if that’s not what he envisioned when he pictured me that day. What if he hates the fabric, the cut, the pick-up style or the way it fits me. (What if he knew what pick-up style meant? This would be an entirely different post.)

I jumped out of bed because at that moment we needed to discuss this.

“Babe. What if you don’t like my dress?”

He looked at me dumbfounded.  “Of course I’ll like it. It will be on you, silly girl.”

Not willing to accept this sweet statement as fact, I pushed the issue.

“But no, it’s kind of different, not really traditional and what if you hate it? ”

“I won’t hate it!”

I pushed some more. Until finally he said, “As long as it doesn’t have a swan head and feathers coming off it, I think you’ll be fine.”

And then I went to bed, and may or may not have worried about a million other things left undone.




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5 responses to “Why I am a wedding-advising hypocrite

  1. There’s a part of me that hopes it has a swan head and feathers coming off of it.


  2. I’m going through my own pre-wedding mini-melt downs! We’re three weeks out and it’s taking every ounce of my being to remain sane. Here’s a bit of my story http://laurajanewrites.com/2010/02/08/ I’ll be back to follow yours 🙂

  3. Wait! Wait wait! I just saw that you are already married on your main blog! How exciting! Congrats!

  4. Love it. (Did Martha make a segment for you?)

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