Bridesmaid horror stories

Yesterday at the pool, I heard a true bridesmaid horror story. (All names and places have been changed to protect the innocent bridesmaid against the wrath of the guilty bride.) It begged the question, what happens to a girl when she gets married that gives her the entitlement to treat her girlfriends like servants who have endless bank accounts?

Bridesmaid Betsy is in a wedding back in her hometown of Weddingville. She is one of five fair maidens in this fancy shindig.

She has been invited to no less than four separate events celebrating Greedalyn’s wedding. All of these events take place in Weddingville which is a 10 hour drive from Kansas City or a $200 flight.  And all of them require the purchase of a gift. There is the couple’s engagement party, two bridal showers and the bachelorette party.

Then there is the “dress”, a frock hardly worthy of said fashion term. All the fair maidens will be wearing floor length “cinnamon” (think rusty brown) skirts. But each fair maiden will have a strapless linen top of a different color. Betsy picked what she thought was a creamy butter color to best match her skintone. Other colors up for grabs included fuscia, Tiffany blue, some sort of green and a light pink. 

As another pool friend commented, it sounds like an unlikely rainbow on a cloud of poop.

(Hey, I’m just repeating what was said here.)

Unfortunately when the nice butter yellow top came in, it wasn’t a butter yellow at all, but more like a “Hi, how you doing?” daisy yellow.  (Note: I think Daisy yellow is a beautiful color, but when it’s not the color you are expecting to wear, it can be shocking, also I’m not really getting the whole color scheme…)

To make matters worse? This “dress” cost Betsy $200. Like she’ll ever wear any part of it again.

That might not be so bad, but then Greedalyn told Betsy that she has hired hair and makeup to come do everyone up on the big day and that all the  maidens must wear the same jewelry  – total pricetag for beauty per maid? $100.

(And there hasn’t even been a decision made on the shoes!)

Betsy factors that after the hotel room (that Greedalyn got at a reduced rate.), the plane tickets, the dress, the hair/makeup, the gifts/parties, she is in at well over $1,000 for her friend.

And it’s not like Betsy has this kind of disposable income. She’s a young professional just starting her career.  Now I know Betsy loves her girlfriend, and wants to stand up for her at the wedding, but I think brides need to consider their friends a little more when planning their big day.

Is it absolutely necessary for everyone to wear the same shoes? I think if a bridesmaid owns a pair of shoes, as long as they are in the general style/color as the dress she should wear them.  What about hair and jewelry? Unless a bride is paying, she probably shouldn’t demand that all her bridesmaids fork up extra money for something they can do themselves.  

But Betsy is a good sport. She’s dutifully going along with Greedalyn’s every wish.

With the exception of one. On top of all of the requirements on Betsy to show up in Weddingville for this event, Greedalyn actually had the audacity to tell Betsy that she “had to have a date.”


Betsy is not in a relationship right now. Not only would she have to ask a guy she is only casually seeing, bringing a date would require her to pay for another flight, then rent a car for the boy so he would have something to do for the two days of wedding prep in which Greedalyn has every hour scheduled for Betsy. Not to mention the time off work the boy would have to take off.

I’m very proud of Betsy for telling Greedalyn “no” on the date.  Sorry Greedalyn if that messes up your bridal party dance. You’ll just have to be sure to invite hot boys to your wedding for Betsy. It’s the least you can do!

So let’s have it. Tell me your bridesmaid horror stories.

 (DD Girl & Team Quirky members, I really hope you don’t have any yet! And if I demand one thing of you, aside from the request to stand up in a red dress next to me on my wedding day, please kick my butt. I’m just honored to have you all there for me on my big day.)



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3 responses to “Bridesmaid horror stories

  1. This makes me so glad that I have the money to pay for everything for my bridesmaids. I don’t have a horror story to share, thankfully. I have a maid of honor and two bridesmaids. I’m slightly anal and want everything to match, so I am buying their dresses, jewelry, and shoes. They can do whatever they want for hair and makeup, I trust them (even my tomboy lesbian sister, lol). This will cost me approximately $1,200 total. My bridesmaids are both young moms and my sister is just out of college. There is no way I would expect them to foot the bill.

    When one of my bridesmaids got married, I was one of her bridesmaids. She picked out an $80 dress and told us to wear whatever shoes and jewelry we wanted. The wedding was in the same town we all lived in, and everything was low-key. She was the exact opposite of a bridezilla. When the bakery delivery guys bumped the cake into something and damaged one side, she simply said “Turn that part to the back, no one will see it. We’re just going to be eating it anyways!”

    I pray for the serenity to be as anti-bridezilla as her. =)

  2. Wow, Sarah. Your friend should share her tips in a blog! 😉

    And I love what you are doing for your bridesmaids. Way to go. I wish I could pay for mine, so I’m just telling mine to do what they want re: shoes, hair, accessories and even the dress. I’m picking out a dress at David’s Bridal for them, but honestly, if they have one they’d rather wear in the same color, I’d be down for that too.

  3. After 19 years in the wedding business, (I have also been a bride two times and a bridesmaid–well too many to count). I have no shortage of horror stories for every area of the wedding. Weddings have a way of bringing out more of who you are.

    The key to getting through an event happily is to know what you are getting into from the start. If your friend is pretty high maintenence before she gets engaged, odds are that you really might be signing up for more than you bargained for. Lay your cards on the table before you agree. You may be really honored by her request, but it is better to talk before you agree.

    Same thing for brides–what goes around comes around. I know you want what you want, but consider everyone. Again, lay the cards on the table at the time you request your friends to sign up!

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