Bridesmaid throw down

I have decided that I don’t want bridesmaids. Nope. Don’t want them.

At age 31, if I need six well-dressed women with flowers cleaning up after me, then I have big problems and probably shouldn’t get married.

Seriously, “bridesmaid?” And they call it an honor to be one? Who came up with this stuff? I guess I could call them “attendants” but then I have images of them parking my car and bringing me my keys. (Actually, that key thing wouldn’t be so bad…but I digress.)

So what do I call these fine ladies who (so far) have agreed to stand up beside me when I vow till death do us part to Mr. Quirky?

Bride buddies? Hot girls with flowers? Team Quirky? (I kind of like the last one.)

On that same note, one member of Team Quirky e-mailed me to tell me that should she become pregnant at any time prior to the wedding she would understand if I wanted to demote her for “aesthetics.”

WHAT?! Who would do that? “I’m sorry but I only want bridesmaids with flat bellies standing with me.”

I wrote her back that should this miraculous event take place, I would be honored to have her AND her unborn child standing up there with me. I mean, it’s like getting two for the price of one!

What wedding traditions/titles do you find to be ridiculous?

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